Some of the comments and questions I get on a daily basis...
Are they twins?
Are they sisters?
Are you married to a Chinese man?
How old are they?
Oh, she is very tiny!
Are they from China?
You can't save them all.
I would love to adopt, but it costs way too much.
I would love to adopt... but...
We have always thought about adopting.
You should have her face looked at by a doctor.
What is wrong with her face?
How long did it take to get them?
They are so cute!
Are you adopting another one?
I think two kids is enough, one for each parent.
Are you putting them in violin?
It is so sad about girls in China.
What a wonderful thing you are doing.
They are so lucky.
How many kids do you have? Six! No wonder you are so skinny!
How many kids do you have? Six! How do you stay so skinny?!
You are crazy.
Most of the comments are positive, but there are always a few that hit hard. I hate the standard "adoption comebacks" because for the most part I think that people are just curious and somewhat ignorant on how adoption works. I am fine with educating them. I hate the standard answers like "oh, we are the lucky ones!" because I think it goes both ways -- they are lucky, millions of orphans are still waiting for families. Or, "no they aren't biologically related, but now they are sisters." Really, does it matter?
I was being asked questions at the girls preschool yesterday and the teacher laughed (she is in the adoption process and had pulled me aside last week to talk to me about China) and said maybe I should just give a talk.
Sometimes, I wish I could give the first answers that come to my mind, but they can sometimes be harsh. Such as, the woman yesterday, who told me they had looked into adoption, but it was too expensive. I wanted to say "yet you drive a brand new van, wear the brand name clothes and just built a new house" but I held my tongue.
To the ones who think we are crazy, I think they are crazy for having only two. How boring! My house is loud and crazy and messy and I work non-stop to keep up with it all... but it is so amazing! I often look around our table at dinner and think WOW... how did I get here? How amazing is my life?!
Besides the comments and questions, there are the stares. You should see peoples faces when our entire family walks onto an airplane! Or anywhere for that matter! I love it! But sometimes we also get rude stares and whispers, especially concerning Lilah...
And then we get the hugs and the hand squeezes and the smiles from complete strangers and we realize once again that some people are on our side.