Thursday, May 31, 2012
Last week I took Silas to see our paediatrician and she was impressed with how well he is doing. She was concerned about his feet and the fact that his right foot has very little range of motion. She said she would talk to some specialists and see who we should see first and what direction to go.
Today, we met with a Neurosurgeon. He was so surprised with Silas' abilities. He will be ordering a MRI, so we can get a look at his spine and head and have something to by in the future as Silas grows. He saw no indication of there ever being a shunt in his head, no issues with hydrocephalus, no eye issues or vein issues. He said that according to where the scar on Silas' back is, he should have incontinence issues and he doesn't understand how he could possibly be potty trained and have no accidents! He just kept shaking his head in wonder...
There can always be issues in the future with a tethered cord and we need to watch Silas closely for any changes, pain or bladder infections, numbness or change in his movement levels. The Surgeon isn't worried about his feet and doesn't think he needs Physiotherapy. He doesn't think we will need to be involved with the Spina Bifida Clinic and that we can just see him about once a year for check ups, if all is going well. We will see him in October though, just because of the language barrier right now, he would like to see him once he understands English and can ask him questions.
He also said Silas could do any activity that he wants, although out of all activities he doesn't recommend martial arts, especially Tae Kwon Do! He sees the most injuries and concussions from this sport over any other! That is disappointing, since we already have two black belts in our house and two more to come! But with such amazing, miraculous news... who can possibly complain!
Monday, May 28, 2012
So far, this adoption has been our easiest adoption.
Silas is doing so well, so much better than we ever expected. My greatest fear was the fact that he had been in foster care for over three years and this time around, this has been the greatest blessing.
We believe his foster family prepared him very very well for this adjustment, which is something I prayed for every single night. I did not want to go through another experience like we did with Lilah… we are still struggling with her and her issues. He knew exactly who we were, who each person was in our family and what was going on and it was very positive for him.
I do the positive side of foster care through this experience. Silas knows what family is, what each persons roll is and who to go to for what.
We do see little moments of fear and anxiety and sadness, but they are few and we do believe he is mourning in a healthy way.
We are thankful that no one got sick on our trip (Micah had a couple of hours where he wasn't well, but recovered very quickly) and that we felt God's hand on us at all times. I am thankful that I was able to handle this trip without Tim by my side, it was a growing experience for me. I knew I could do it and would be fine… but would prefer not to have done it alone!
I do think that Silas may not have bonded with me so well, had Tim been there. He loves his Baba and I may have been pushed aside from the start, but with me as his only choice, we now have a mother and son bond that is growing daily.
Zoe did well while I was gone. No issues other than some tears at Sunday School one day, luckily I have a great and understanding friend who is the teacher, who sat and comforted her. Thanks Shawna!
Silas really is just a sweet little boy. He is happy, full of joy, goofy and just very very sweet!
We see how he just wants to fit into our family. He is copying english and saying english words on his own already. He doesn't want to put his spicy sauce on all his food, he just wants to be like the rest of the kids. He cleans up his toys when he is done, he puts his dishes in the dishwasher, he gets dressed in the morning right after breakfast… he watches and learns and does. He loves to be outside with his brothers and while they ride their bikes over ramps and rails, he does the same on the tricycle.
1 John 5:14
This is the confidence we have in approaching God; that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us.
Friday, May 25, 2012
Even though Silas seems to be doing really well with attaching to us as his parents, we have chosen to co-sleep with him for awhile. Not sure how long we will continue this, I guess until our instincts tell us that he is feeling completely safe and secure in knowing that we will always be there for him as his parents.
Starting to co-sleep with a four year old can feel a bit strange, especially for the child! He was used to sleeping in his own bed at his foster family's home, and didn't want to sleep with me in China. He would scoot over to the very edge of the bed, closer to Micah's cot, while we were in Changsha, trying to get away from me. But I wasn't about to give in. The first few mornings I would wake up and would find him in Micah's bed.
When we got to Beijing, Silas really didn't have a choice about sleeping with me, since there was only one King sized bed for the three of us to share. Lucky Mama, got to sleep crammed between two little boys! But each night, Silas would slowly inch closer and closer to me, until he was even snuggled up right against my chest.
Now that we are home, he is sleeping in bed with Tim and I. We lay down with him each night as he falls asleep and we can see that this gives him great security. He did wake up one night, after we had left the room, sobbing with fear and anxiety that we were gone and it breaks our hearts to see him like this. But after that first night, he seems to have realized that we are still there, even if we aren't in the room with him. Last night, he was sad because Tim got home from work late and wasn't there to lay down with us. Luckily, Tim got home a couple of minutes after we laid down to go to sleep, and Silas wrapped his arms around him with great relief.
I believe that when adopting an active four year old boy, who runs around all day playing with his siblings, this co-sleeping is vital for attachment with his parents. It is really the only down time we get with him, without all the other children around, and we see how important this is to his heart as well.
We may not like co-sleeping, but we see the need for it and the changes it is bringing to Silas and his fears of change and abandonment. I would encourage all parents of newly adopted children to try it, as strange as it may feel. The attachment goes both ways and no matter what happens throughout your day, we always fall in love with our children more when we watch them sleep!
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
So we are once again settling into a new life. This time it seems to be going pretty easy.
I see a big difference between Silas and Zoe's first days with us. I considered Zoe to be pretty easy too, but with Silas having been in foster care, there is once again a HUGE difference. He knows what it is to be disciplined, and he responds well and holds no grudges. He knows what the purpose of a mother and father are... and our roles seem to be very similar to what he was used to... Dad is the fun, playful one, and Mom takes care of things around the house.
He loves exploring and trying new things. Like the swings, which we are sure he had never been on, since he didn't know that he should keep holding on!
All the kids are getting along really well. We haven't seen any jealousy (except a bit from Micah). Not even from Zoe, who I thought would react the most, but she has done great and did great while I was gone.
If anyone is going outside, or on an errand, Silas wants to go along and he yells his first and only english words... "Let's Go! Let's Go!"
Lilah has kind of slipped back into her old ways while I was gone and I knew I would have to come home and "retrain" her somewhat. She tries to be the mother to Silas and I have to constantly remind her that that is not her job. Sometimes it is kind of cute because she is way smaller than him (and tries to catch him coming down the slide or tries to pull him up the slide!), but tends to get on some nerves.
Silas LOVES his big brothers! He grabs their hands to asks to play with them all day long. They love it and take turns spending time with him. My boys have always been really great with the little ones.
Silas has already gone to the skatepark. Not to skateboard, but to watch. Everything excites him and he exclaims "WOW!" to all he sees.
He has a healthy fear of things. He is cautious and careful. But still all boy. He jumps and runs all day long.
Silas is a beautiful boy and this entire family has fallen in love with him.
Friday, May 18, 2012
We are now home. Silas ran into Tim's arms the minute he saw him at the airport, yelling "Baba! Baba!" He has been pretty attached to him since.
Silas also loves all his siblings. Especially his big brothers, right now he expects them to play with him all day long. He is also getting along with the little girls and is somewhat cautious with Abby.
Tim also did some redecorating while I was gone... I don't think this will be there much longer!
We are so glad to be home again. After sitting for three hours on the Beijing tarmac, we finally left for our 11 hour flight to Vancouver, where we were delayed, and then got on a stand by flight fairly quickly.
We are sticking close to home for the next while.
My mom and I are coping quite well with the jet lag, but poor Micah is not.
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
Today, Lilah is five years old.
She has waited very patiently for her turn for a birthday!
This little one has come a long way in life. The bravest little girl I know. She is going to go far in life and we can hardly wait to see where that will be...
Happy Birthday Lilah! I miss you and I will see you tomorrow! And I am bringing you an amazing present!
Monday, May 14, 2012
Today, Silas and I headed to the Beijing Zoo. We had a great afternoon and he loved all the animals.
Hmmm Men at work...just like at home
Micah was sick today, so Grandma stayed with him at the hotel, but he is already doing better. The food here is a big change and can be hard on our systems!
We then went to the Acrobat Show and once again it was great. Silas sat and watched the whole thing in complete awe.
He is reaching out more and more. Hugging and letting me kiss him. He loves to play rough and one thing we say often is Ching Ching Da (not sure how that is spelled) meaning Be Gentle! He also started copying things we say more and is very proud of himself when he does.
Tomorrow is the big shopping day and the Tea Ceremony.
Sunday, May 13, 2012
Since coming back to Beijing on Friday, Silas has been doing really great. He holds my hand everywhere we go and wants to be carried a lot.
He is an eating machine. He loves meat. And the spicier the better. One night he ate a whole plate of food so hot, his eyes watered, his nose ran and his face turned red.
On Saturday, we went to the Summer Palace, which was way too busy.
But beautiful none the less.
Today, we went to the Cloisonne Factory,
the Jade Market and the Great Wall.
My camera card decided to break at the Great Wall, so all my photos are from my mom's camera. I had never been to this part of the Great Wall before, so it was nice to see a different area.
We found out today that the SWI that Silas is from has a Butterfly Hospice that is run by a couple from the UK and the director is someone who is in our group. They have raised a lot of money for Silas' orphanage, which it pretty cool.
Happy Mother's Day!
It is exciting to spend this day in China with my new son. My husband sent me a beautiful boutique of flowers! Thanks Tim!
I love China, but can hardly wait to get home and see my husband and children, who I miss immensely.